Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Mark Oaten's missus tells all

And, in this week’s Hello! Magazine – or here if you are too much of a cheapskate to buy a copy - Mark Oaten's wife tells of her reaction on hearing of her Lib-Dem leadership contender hubby’s romps with gay prostitutes:

‘It was something almost too big for me to handle. [Snigger snigger - DO] I said an awful lot of horrible things to him at first. I took off my rings and threw them at him, and told him never to come back, and I hit him about three times.’

You fool, Belinda. He probably loved it. But imagine having to break that one to the old lady, fellas. Still, it's her fault. After all, if she’d only been willing to satisfy Mark’s, er, needs in the first place, he’d never have had to wander.

I suppose this gives me the opportunity to recount last week’s encounter in Budapest between Stroppybird and myself – both shamefully tipsy after lunchtime o’booze – and a canvasser for SZDSZ, the Hungarian liberal party.

Me: ‘You’re the Liberals, right? Are you like the Liberals in England?’

Canvasser: ‘Similar.’

Me: ‘Do you know Mark Oaten? He’s a bad man, a bad man. Rent boys poo in his mouth.’

Silence. Then we collapse into giggles.

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